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Toni Jones: Why Is Embracing Self Love So Hard?

In this week’s episode Redefining Wealth, I welcomed Toni Jones, creator of Affirmation Music and passionate advocate for self love. 

Toni’s music can be described as hypnotic, powerful, affirmative, positive, and beautiful. Today, Toni is sharing some of her insights and the story behind how a substitute teacher became a music sensation beloved by her fans. Toni has been featured in Forbes, The Chi, Blac Detroit, Hype Magazine, Michigan Chronicle, and Essence.

If you’re a fan of my “affirmation of the week,” you are about to be obsessed with Toni. Her music is one major affirmation – affirming all that is good about you. 

Toni loved music, but she never imagined that she would become a musician. However, she kept trying to listen to affirmative music, and realized she wanted to make it better. Not only did she not hear the kind of music she knew she could make, she felt that there was a way to empower and uplift others in the process.  It took off beyond her wildest dreams. 

Enjoy these wise words from Toni Jones…

Make sure to unplan your life.

When you meet someone successful, they often want to share their strategy with you. They act like their version of success must be yours too, and that just does not describe Toni. 

With her humble confidence, Toni Jones is a powerful force in the room. And the lesson behind her success? First and foremost: Unplan your life. 

What does that mean? She describes it as the lack of anxiety and the presence of faith – the ability for you to leave space for the unknown, trust, and accept uncertainty. 

This important wisdom because it reminds us to focus heavily on the faith pillar. It’s essential to believe that God has a plan for you, and that you are exactly where you need to be. 

In her words: “My purpose is already orchestrated – I don’t need to orchestrate it! The outcome of divine purpose is a hundred times sweeter than you could plan it.” 

It’s true. No matter how grand you think your plans are, He has something so much richer and sweeter and more authentic in store for you. Toni reminds us that our greatness and purpose are not dependent on our hands and strategy alone. In other words, we can show up – but the plan itself is not truly ours. 

Put your mindset before the money.

When Toni’s career took off, she got excited. It’s a relatable story – she made money, she started spending it. She realized quickly that she needed to uplevel her mindset. 

Toni was wise enough to figure out very soon that her mindset would not lead to good outcomes if she didn’t continue to do the inner work. She invested in therapy, coaching, and consistent daily practices for her emotional and mental wellbeing. 

She laughs now about her early days in music. It was a journey. “If you start making money moves but you don’t have a therapist and a great nervous system, baby… you can go back to ground zero if you’re not prepared in the internal space.”

Toni advises us to do the same. You can dream about abundance and think you’re prepared  for it, but your nervous system never lies. Doing the work now to  feel worthy, to feel like enough, and to not seek external validation will pay off. It is also prudent to build good financial habits before you desperately need them. 

Seek joy and have fun.

So much advice about living a healthy life is about doing less and eating less. But that’s not Toni’s advice either. She loves food, and enjoyes having beautiful meals with her friends. 

After she had an existential crisis a few years ago, she thought long and hard about what brought her joy. She realized that food is what she loves about life – savoring, being present, and enjoying it with the people she cares about. She urges us to ask ourselves the same question. What do you need more of? What lights you up? Design your life to do more of that.

Take up space, sis. 

One of Toni’s songs is called “Take up space, sis.” I listen to it all the time and I am such a major fan. One of my favorite lines is: “Take up space sis – I got more room with this – In the board room, in the band room – In the zoom, on the IG, in my troop, on the beach, I’ma reach.” 

I love this song and I love Toni. 

When I brought up this song, we discussed what it means to be a woman versus what it used to mean – self-sacrifice, selflessness, and of course…self-deprecation.

No more. 

Toni brought up what we see when people post about their moms on mother’s day, on social media every year. We see it time and time again – people thanking their mothers for giving them everything, for sacrificing every moment she had, for being selfless, for doing it all. But of course this feeds the harmful narrative that women are worth more because we do more, and because we give, give, give to everyone but ourselves. 

Now, we get to praise ourselves and other women for being strong in who they   are. We get to stop romanticizing sacrifice and start romanticizing self-care, therapy, spa days, time off, vacations, eating, time with friends and  listening to empowering music. 

I hope you loved this interview with Toni, and I hope you stream her music wherever you listen. It will lift you up and set your soul on fire!

I hope you enjoyed this episode of Redefining Wealth! 

Be sure to grab tickets to Redefining Wealth LIVE in Atlanta Georgia: 

Tune in next week for another episode!

That’s all for today – 


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