Transitions. Changes. Upheaval. We’ve all been there when life smacks you in the face and you’ve got to pick yourself up and move on. But too often, we’re not prepared and we move through our chaos while in chaos. Then we come out the other side and put ourselves right back in the same situation. Another boring job. Another unfulfilling relationship. We repeat the patterns that we already know.
I’ve been on a journey to learn how to navigate my transitions with ease and grace. It’s become part of my commitment to Redefining Wealth, in fact it’s a continuum of that experience. I’m not there yet but I want to share with you what I’ve already learned so that my tips and tools can help you too.
It starts with an awakening.
Let’s be honest. Deep down, a lot of us saw our transitions coming on the horizon. We might not have admitted it at the time, even to ourselves. But we knew, inside ourselves, that something wasn’t right and we didn’t do anything about it. We ignored it; we shut ourselves off.
We didn’t do anything about it until it hurt.
Until the relationship was over. Until the job was gone. Until the money ran out.
And the truth is that the transition could have been a lot easier if we’d have been awake. If we had been truly in alignment with ourselves and our desires, we would have known that there was a problem on the horizon. We could have nipped it in the bud, jumped off that sinking ship. It would have been a bump in the road and not a boulder.
So, if you want to navigate your transition with grace and pivot into peace, start with awareness.
From awareness comes a reaction.
Reactions are you moving through that change in your life. But it’s really important that you use this time to act with intention so that you end up where you want to be. If you’re not intentional, you’ll end up back where you started. Our desires and intentions are what guide us towards making the necessary changes that’ll help us to reach the next stage in our life. I always ask my Purpose Chasers, “How are you processing what you’re processing?” Because I’m telling you, even if you’re prepared, transitions aren’t easy! You need a lot of support and focus to be able to keep your heart set on your goals and to find wealth and happiness in the change. Greatness requires you to expect resistance. That’s why joining a group or a mastermind can be a good idea at a time like this.
When I’m going through a transition, I also look at the narrative I’m telling myself about that transition. Because other people can have their opinions and they might project them onto you. They got their feelings about dating or careers or money, and if you don’t set your boundaries straight, they’ll share their feelings all over your transition. But you have the right to reject their feelings. You can listen to their advice, take the parts that feel good and useful to you, and leave the rest behind. If that narrative doesn’t serve you, cut it out of your story.
And above it all, when you’re in your transition, you need to stay drilled into your alignment. You need to know your needs, wants, and desires. Your desires need to be aligned with your goals. Your words need to align with your goals. And your actions need to align with your words. If one of these is out of line, you’re going to get frustrated. That frustration is the first sign that you’re not really working towards what you want.
So that you know that I know what I’m talking about, I’m going to share some of my recent transitions with you and tell you how I’ve been navigating them.
I’ve been through a motherhood transition.
My bright, beautiful baby girl suddenly isn’t a baby any more. And for a while there, I wasn’t ok about it. I went to bed the night before her 16th birthday ready to wake her up singing and dancing and jumping on her bed like I normally do, but when I woke up, I was overcome with grief.
My baby’s growing up, and she doesn’t need me like she used to.
When I really drilled down to the grief and started to unpack it, I realized what was bothering me. Now that my daughter’s got her own car, she doesn’t need me to drive her places any more. I used to be the Uber parent who would ferry her around from school to sports practice to seeing her friends and that time in the car was our quality time together. So really, I was afraid that our relationship would change. Now I know that I’m aware of that fear, I’ve adjusted the way that we spend time together. Yes we still do our date nights, but we do them a little differently.
Motherhood is full of joy and grief, the steps forward and back, the little wins and the major milestones. It’s really easy for us to lose ourselves in motherhood. Moms sometimes set aside their own dreams and their desires to raise their children and then when their children grow, they don’t know who they are as women any more. And when that happens, you just know that you’re ready for a transition to come and hit you in the face as soon as those children fly the nest. That’s why that alignment with yourself is so important. Even as a mother, you need to keep yourself in sight.
I felt that sense of a transition in my dating life too.
Love transitions are real.
Whether your love transition is a break-up or a new relationship, love can mean big life changes.
When I started dating again after my marriage ended, I really focused on staying aligned with myself and my goals.
I knew that I wanted to date so that I could collect new data about myself. I wanted to find out who I amin a relationship. For me, it’s not about finding love or finding my next husband, it’s about finding me. I have a list of requirements for the man I date and I’m holding onto it tight. I’m choosing to stick to it even when the going gets tough.
Other people around me have told me that dating is bad, that there’s pee in the dating pool. And I respect their experience, but I don’t receive it. Just because they’ve had bad dating experiences, that doesn’t mean that my experience will be bad too. And as long as I’ve got my mind focused on what I want, I can leave behind the experiences and the comments and the advice that doesn’t serve me.
If these transitions sound like something you’ve been going through, consider this an invitation.
An invitation to check your alignment.
If you want to get through your transition, check if your desires, words, and actions are aligned. If you’re getting stuck, use the six pillars as a framework to see which area of your life you need to pay the most attention to.
And if you want to join a group of like-minded people who are navigating the transitions that their lives are throwing at them, it’s not too late to buy a ticket for Redefining Wealth Live. I’d love to see you there!
That’s all from me for now. Catch you next time –
Patrice
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