What if the reason you’re not experiencing the love, peace, or success you desire isn’t because you don’t know what you want… but because you’re afraid to say it out loud?
In this powerful episode of the Redefining Wealth Podcast, Patrice Washington sits down with Columbia-trained therapist, author, and founder of The Out Loud School, Vasavi Kumar, for an honest conversation about finding your voice, trusting yourself, and breaking free from the patterns of self-silencing that keep you disconnected from who you truly are.
As part of the Redefining Love 2.0 season, Patrice and Vasavi explore why so many accomplished women can speak confidently in public yet struggle to express their needs in their most intimate relationships.
Because being powerful in the world means very little if you’re constantly shrinking behind closed doors.
Self-love requires truth. And sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is finally say it out loud.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
- Why powerful women sometimes lose their voices in personal relationships
- How people-pleasing and the fear of rejection lead to self-abandonment
- Why saying what you need doesn’t have to create conflict
- How over-giving in business and relationships creates resentment
- The difference between speaking your truth and trying to control someone’s response
- Why silence can be intentional rather than a form of self-suppression
- How speaking honestly strengthens self-trust and creates space for aligned relationships
When Your Public Voice Doesn’t Match Your Private Life
One of the most vulnerable moments in this conversation comes when Patrice and Vasavi reflect on being outspoken, confident women professionally while struggling to express themselves in romantic relationships.
Vasavi shares how her desire for love, attention, and validation led her to suppress her needs and walk on eggshells.
Patrice reflects on similar patterns during her marriage, recognizing how she had learned to carefully manage the timing, tone, and delivery of her words.
This conversation connects deeply to the PEOPLE pillar, reminding us that healthy relationships should provide space for us to be fully seen, heard, and known—not require us to become smaller to maintain connection.
Stop Shrinking to Be Accepted
For years, Vasavi was told she was too much.
Too outspoken.
Too expressive.
Too willing to question things.
But the very qualities she was encouraged to suppress eventually became central to her purpose and business.
Patrice shares a similar realization: the voice that once got her labeled a troublemaker became one of her greatest gifts.
What if the part of yourself you’ve been trying to silence is the very thing you’re meant to use?
Saying It Out Loud Isn’t About Controlling the Outcome
Speaking your truth doesn’t mean demanding that someone agree with you.
It means being willing to communicate what you want, need, and believe—even when you cannot control the response.
You can ask the question without knowing the answer.
You can express a boundary without knowing whether someone will respect it.
You can tell the truth without knowing what happens next.
The goal isn’t to force someone to meet your needs.
The goal is to stop abandoning yourself by pretending those needs don’t exist.
Your Voice Impacts Your Wealth
Self-silencing doesn’t only affect romantic relationships.
It can show up in your business, your boundaries, your finances, and the way you communicate your value.
Vasavi shares how entrepreneurs sometimes overdeliver, extend their time beyond agreed boundaries, or water down their messaging because they’re afraid of disappointing clients.
This connects beautifully to the WORK and MONEY pillars, reminding us that honoring our voice also means honoring our capacity, expertise, and value.
You can care deeply about people without constantly giving more than you’ve agreed to give.
Silence Can Be a Choice, Too
One of the important distinctions Patrice and Vasavi explore is that using your voice doesn’t mean filling every moment with words.
Sometimes silence creates the space you need to hear yourself clearly.
There’s a difference between intentionally choosing not to speak and staying silent because you’re afraid of what telling the truth might change.
Real confidence means knowing when to speak, when to listen, and when to create enough quiet to recognize what you actually believe.
You Can’t Keep Calling Things Fine That Aren’t Fine
At the heart of this conversation is a simple but uncomfortable truth:
Once you say something out loud, you can no longer pretend you don’t know it.
Acknowledging what you want may require a difficult conversation.
Expressing what hurts may reveal an uncomfortable reality.
And telling the truth may require you to make a decision you’ve been avoiding.
But that’s also where self-trust begins.
Because every time you honor what you know, you strengthen your ability to create a life that genuinely reflects who you are.
About This Season: Redefining Love 2.0
This season of Redefining Wealth is dedicated to redefining what love really means — beyond romance and into how we love ourselves, others, God, and the lives we’re creating.
We’re exploring what it looks like to love without leaving yourself behind — through relationships, self-trust, reciprocity, obedience, and the Six Pillars of Wealth. Subscribe and journey with us as we learn to love without self-abandonment and honor who we are becoming.
Start With Clarity
🧭 Take the 2-Minute Pillar Quiz to discover which pillar needs your attention in this season:
https://patricewashington.com/quiz
📱 Join the FREE Redefining Wealth App (community, book club, and weekly LIVE sessions with Patrice):
https://patricewashington.com/redefining-wealth-app/
💛 Explore Pillar Mastery
https://pillarmastery.com
🎓 Join the Waitlist to The Institute for Redefining Wealth:
https://redefiningwealth.institute/
🎟️ Join the waitlist to Redefining Wealth LIVE
www.redefiningwealthlive.com
📘 Download the Six Pillars Cheat Sheet: https://patricewashington.com/6pillars
Follow Vasavi Kumar on Social Media:
Instagram: @mynameisvasavi
Facebook: @theoutloudschool
Website: www.vasavikumar.com
Community | The Out Loud School: https://vasavikumar.com/theoutloudschool
Subscribe & Review
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And if this episode spoke to you, please leave a review. Your review helps more women discover conversations that support healing, alignment, and a more peaceful relationship with money.
