Sarita Maybin: Ask for What You Want

 In People, Redefining Wealth PODCAST, Work

About our Guest

Sarita Maybin is an international speaker and communications expert. She has worked with clients like Hewlett Packard, Kaiser Permanente, Los Angeles County, Department of Navy and the Las Vegas Convention Center and has spoken all over the world. In 2012 she was voted Top 5 Communication Speaker and has had the privilege of speaking on the TEDx stage. She’s also the author of If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What DO You Say? and an expert in confronting tough communication situations in a positive and fun way.

Episode Summary:

Today, we continue the Powerful Women Series in honor of Women’s History Month. Our focus today is on the people pillar and how we communicate. We tackle the complex topic of speaking up when it  might not be comfortable and talk about the importance of finding a middle ground to say what needs to be said before things blow up. We discuss how to ask for what we want using the right language. This includes giving the other party a vote by using collaborative phrases and the power of positive communication phrases. This episode is full of practical tactics for both personal and professional communication.

CLIFF NOTES

  • It’s important to speak up and say what needs to be said.
  • Use phrases like, “I would appreciate” to make requests not demands.
  • We need to just ask for what we want. Use a phrase like, “would you be willing to?” Use collaborative phrases at home.
  • When giving feedback focus on the positive rather than the negative and use positive communication phrases like, “help me understand.”
  • 3 Clues that you should pick up the phone instead of email or text. Sensitive subject, conflict, or when there’s a back and forth.
  • Instead of a spellcheck do a “please and thank you check.”
  • The 3Ps by Dr. Martin Sullivan: Don’t take things PERSONALLY. It’s not PERMANENT. Don’t let it ruin the big PICTURE.
  • We can use “if”, “as soon as” and “when” to set boundaries.

Quotes from the show:

If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all doesn’t work anymore. Sometimes you have to say what you need to say. – Sarita Maybin

We can all benefit from more truth tellers in the workplace. – Sarita Maybin

If we don’t tell the truth, how do people improve?  – Sarita Maybin

You can tell people the truth and leave them with their dignity intact. – Patrice Washington

Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean. – Sarita Maybin

We can make subtle changes in how we talk to each other while remaining assertive. – Sarita Maybin

Instead of a demand, its okay to make a request. – Sarita Maybin

We need to just ask for what we want. – Sarita Maybin

Sometimes our biggest challenges are the communication in our own home. – Sarita Maybin

Give feedback with a positive rather than a negative.  – Sarita Maybin

We do a spell-check on email, but what we should do is a “please and thank you” check. – Sarita Maybin

Don’t take things PERSONALLY. It’s not PERMANENT. Don’t let it ruin the big PICTURE. – Dr. Martin Sullivan

Don’t take other people’s problems on and allow it to ruin your day by taking it personally. – Sarita Maybin

When people say something negative it says more about who they are than who you are. – Sarita Maybin

Just because you’re in a drama, you don’t have to be dramatic. – Tim Storey

Participating in other people’s drama is a choice. – Sarita Maybin

Are you the person who brightens the room when you walk in OR when you leave? – Sarita Maybin

Sarita’s Redefining Wealth Rapid Wisdom Questions

Define Success:

Enjoying what you do and making a difference.

Define Wealth in 3 Words or Less:

Feeling that you have enough for yourself and enough to share with others.

One Book that Has Redefined How You See Wealth:

Lean In

Fill-in the Blanks… “My name is ___ and the truth about wealth is ___”:

“My name is Sarita and the truth about wealth is it is possible.”  

Links:

Sarita Maybin

Get the 50 Phrases for Communication Text: Sarita Talk to 22828

@SaritaMaybin on Twitter

Sarita Maybin on Facebook

Sarita Maybin on LinkedIn

If You Can’t Say Something Nice, What Do You Say?: Practical Solutions for Working Together Better

Black Women’s Network

Sarita Maybin, M.A. -TEDx Talk

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