Nedra Glover Tawwab: Set Boundaries, Find Peace

Over the last few weeks, we’ve focused on the power of letting go! During this series alone, we’ve learned about the magic of surrender, how to let go of guilt, how to gain freedom and to close out our Let It Go Series we are finding peace by setting boundaries.

Letting go can be an active process that often requires some discomfort. It places us in a position to remove relationships that no longer serve us and it forces us to set and enforce boundaries that may change how we communicate with others. Today’s guest lives by the philosophy that a lack of boundaries and assertiveness underlie most relationship issues and she is here to help us set boundaries by letting go of the toxic habits that keep us from finding peace.

Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and sought-after relationship expert. She has practiced relationship therapy for 12 years and is the founder and owner of the group therapy practice, Kaleidoscope Counseling. Nedra is also the New York Times Best Selling Author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself, and today, she is teaching us how to implement boundaries that create healthy relationships with both ourselves and others.

Key discussion points from this episode include:

How To Set Boundaries – 5:40
Set Boundaries With Family – 8:00
Dealing With The Discomfort – 12:47
The 2 Parts To Setting Boundaries – 15:10
How To Find Peace – 24:03
Boundaries Change – 32:09
Mom Guilt & Finding Support – 40:18
Boundaries Are The Cure – 46:59

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Set Boundaries, Find Peace Takeaways

“When we think about the stress of working, it is so important that we think about boundaries.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“If you want to feel guilty, set a limit with your family.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“People don’t like boundaries.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“The boundary is to keep us safe and comfortable, and sometimes people may not like that, depending on the person.”- Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Forgiving people doesn’t change their behavior, that’s a personal process.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Saying yes to everything does not make you a kind person.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“I feel proud that I am raising someone who has the awareness to be able to communicate her own boundaries with me as a parent.” – Patrice Washington
“I did not learn the art of apologizing until I became a parent.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“We have to learn how to not personalize everything requested of us.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Everything that you think is urgent and important is not a crisis.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“If you don’t want to constantly be connected, you have a right not to.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Boundaries change.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Even though they can do it on their own, it doesn’t mean they should do it on their own.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“It is an interesting job to raise another person while we’re still raising ourselves.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Let go of the ‘shoulds’.” – Patrice Washington
“If they can clean up at school, they can clean up at home.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab
“Boundaries are the cure to most relationship problems.” – Nedra Glover Tawwab